Back to the bottle…

Bon Iver - Wembley
Bon Iver – Wembley

Back to the bottle… (OR Why Nicki Minaj is the epitome of evil)

In a recent article of mine, The X Factor hangover,  I said (for those who didn’t read it for some reason, presumably you were on holiday?) that I believed the age of the TV talent show (X Factor and co.) and generic pop music was coming to an end – not over, but certainly past it’s peak. This article is a slight revision, and a continuation, of that.

In my last article I asserted that the only way to get over the hangover left behind by our culture’s excessive bingeing on ‘entertainment’ shows like the X Factor, and on commercial pop music was to –

“Either plunge deeper into your addiction; begin a life-long binge from which there can be no return; or suck it up, heave yourself out of bed and go and take some paracetamol, then get on with your life.”

– and I stand by this. The only way to repair the damage left by the greedy commercialisation of popular music, is to encourage less commercial, less mainstream acts, and most importantly, self-discovery. Sure, there’s nothing wrong with some cheesey pop, or a boy-band aimed at tween girls, both serve their purpose for the people that like that kind of thing; but that shouldn’t be the only popular or successful music.

The trouble is – and it’s this problem that led me to write this additional piece – is that people are still buying terrible music, en masse, and making that the norm. I’m talking about purely, truly, objectively awful music. I’m talking about real evil incarnate. I’m talking, about this:

I honestly tried, for all of about 1.13245 milliseconds to understand how this might appeal to somebody. To understand how THIS is as popular as it is, compared to say, this:

Nearly 69 millions views for Nicki ‘Spawn of Beelzebub’, versus just over five million for Justin Vernon’s cover of I can’t make you love me. Besides leaving me COMPLETELY terrified, the Nicki Minaj video/song left me wanted to tear out my eyes and stuff them into my ears. By the time I had finished writhing on the floor in a fit of rage, confusion, frustration and anger, the song had ended, and I was left bewildered as to how what I had just witnessed was a popular song, by a (currently) extremely popular artist. I’m not even convinced it’s a song.

Of the two videos above, which is performed with more passion and emotion? Which of the two stirred you inside, and taught you how to love again, mending your previously cold and broken heart? Which one repeated the astoundingly poetic lyric “You a stupid hoe” a brain-numbing amount of times? Yes, so of the three, at least one of your answers has to go to Nicki Minaj (if more than one of your answers did, just save both of our time and get out now, it’s not going to get any better for either of us), but is that really a victory for her to be proud of?

Maybe there’s something here that I’m just not seeing. But if that’s the case, I’m happy in my ignorant bigotry. I guess the message I want to leave you with is – OI. STOP BUYING NICKI MINAJ SONGS. You’re ruining everything for the rest of humanity.

(Image Copyright: alexdelaneyphotography)


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